Roses and thorns of 2018 & how I plan to tweak my style
The roses and thorns of 2018
I recently read another blog where the person was talking about how she wasn’t in a good place in the beginning of 2018. She felt down and may have been suffering from seasonal affect disorder. She felt lonely yet didn’t want to be with people. I sort of know what she means.
Last year was pretty bad and the winters are always hard for me. Yes, it could always be worse. My mom had a number of surgeries in 2018. She’s had many over the years. Each year it’s a different body part. She’s one of the toughest people I know. The first surgery was botched and the doctor actually left the hospital after he made the error. Yes, a long story. She had three more surgeries to fix the damage. It was very stressful.
I had a flood in my apartment.
I was trying to pay off a loan that was hanging over my head for years and stressing me out in the process.
We had a reorg at work that was announced in November and went into affect last week It derailed my career path a bit and the vibe isn’t great. It’s bearable though and not as bad as I thought. I’m working on my options. I finally realized that I probably shouldn’t have stayed at my company as long as I have. In November, I also found out through an HR audit that my company was underpaying me. Yes, I got a raise but I wonder how many years I was underpaid. They didn’t go into a lot of detail. I wonder why.
I decided to write the blog and concentrate on my Instagram that focuses on fashion and style as an escape from these annoyances and as a way to pursue what I probably should have pursued as a career. It was a way to not have a regret. At least I was doing something associated with fashion. My clothes allow me to be someone else. I can appear strong and put together even if I’m not feeling that way on the inside sometimes. Clothes are our armor, right? Anyway, I didn’t think I could build the site but I did, which made me really happy. Yes, it’s very basic compared to many other bloggers, but I did it myself and I accomplished a goal I set for myself. Good things take time and money, which I don’t have a lot of at the moment. There’s time for improvement. I need to give myself time.
I just paid off my loan in November, a bright spot, which was quickly followed by a notice in December that my rent was going up significantly in February. You have to have a little sweet with the sour, right? I negotiated it down a bit, which was something major for me. I tend to think I’m not going to be successful at anything, so when I am, I’m blown away.
Another bright spot was becoming a member of rewardStyle almost two weeks ago with the help of my friend Rynetta. I’m not your typical blogger, so I never thought it would happen. It was a goal of mine eventually because I equated it with a stamp of approval or success. I’m facing challenges: I don’t have a Insta-husband to take photos, I can’t buy new clothes all the time, I can’t hire an assistant, I don’t have a gorgeous house, or time to right a post a day, I’m not the typical demographic for brands - in my late 20’s or in my 30’s ready to have a baby or married with a new baby. I don’t have look like most bloggers, so I really never thought it would happen. I’m happy I did it because I have formed a small community. I’m realistic; I know I’m never going to be Amiee Song, Blair Eadie, but there are a few folks that want to see someone like me that isn’t the best, that’s down to earth, and looks like they do. They don’t care that my photos aren’t the best quality, that I don’t wear something new everyday, and that I’m not eating at the best restaurants every night. I’m real and my budget is tight. There are people that want real and someone that they can relate to. I need to embrace this and realize that I’m new at it. I also need to remember why I did this in the first place and that I’ve made some friends along the way.
There are so many people that have it much worse than I do. Sometimes I need to read a story like this one here or this to realize that my life is good, I’m healthy, there are people out there that would like to switch places with me, and I’m stronger than I think. I learned a lot about myself in 2018. I had many challenges, which all forced me to accomplish a goal or achieve something I didn’t think I could. I still have a lot to work on this year but I’m a little tougher.
Here are a few things I would like to start/stop/continue doing this year:
I would like to start reading more.
I need to try and (notice I said try) stop comparing myself to other people and wishing I had their skills, house, blog, talents, hair, wardrobes (fill in the blank). Realize I can never be these people, so try to see these people as inspirational. Things can look great on the outside but you never know what’s going on on the inside.
Starts to be nicer to myself and stop doubting my abilities. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I have to give myself time to improve.
Continue to remember what my mom always says, “this too shall pass.”
Continue to remember that I always seem to learn something about myself when I confront a challenge.
Start to be more positive and practice being grateful ( wake up and say three different things that I am grateful for first thing in the morning).
Continue to be realize that you learn from your mistakes.
Start to take more risks.
Speaking of new beginnings and changes, this year I think I’m going to tweak my style a bit. I want to try to buy more solids, neutrals (creams, tans, camel) and classic items. I love Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, and Gwyneth Paltrow’s style to name a few. To me, the classics consist of a good white or striped button downs in silk or cotton, leather pants/leggings, cashmere sweaters, a white or striped tee, jeans, sneakers, plain heels, sunnies and loafers. While I do have a lot of classics already, maybe I’ll buy new ones in fresh silhouettes or try new combinations with what I already have in my wardrobe. I’m going to look to my style icons for inspiration. I’m also going to buy more romantic dresses because I love how they make me feel, and maybe I’ll try some new designers once they go on sale including Rhode Resort, Stine Goya, Ganni Sea and Rixo. Have you thought about tweaking your style for the new year? If so, tell me about me about it. I’d love to know.
Here are some of my wardrobe essentials picks (click on them to be able to get more information and buy if you wish:
Loafers and heels
White or striped blouses
Thanks for visiting. I’d love to hear from you.